In the collective, individual desires must be reconciled for the benefit of the whole. Although these ideals are slowly changing in favor of the spirit of individuals of the new generation, we can see that, at least in poems by Li-Young Lee, an ethnically Chinese born in Indonesia and residing in the U.S., that family dynamics are central in his poems.
“Eating Together” is a short, one stanza poem about a family having some trout together. Ingredients such as ginger, onion, and sesame oil add details that evoke both taste and smell for readers, while the members of the family, including two brothers, sister, and mother accompany the narrator for a meal. We aren’t sure what other kinds of food are available for the family members, but nothing else is mentioned here, except the fish in the steamer.
The meat of the head is especially delicious, as mentioned by the narrator. It is savored collectively, as the meat is held between the mother’s fingers, “deftly, the way my father did…” Subconsciously, I am led to read the overlapping image of the head of the fish and the narrator’s father, the head of the household, as both dead. The fact that the head is prized by all implies that the father was, too, prized by all.
The verse reading implies that the father is gone, as it says, “Then he lay down to sleep like a snow-covered road winding through pines older than him, without any travelers, and lonely for no one.” The poem takes an interesting turn for the father, one without travelers, and yet, “lonely for no one”. The emotional tension is strong because of this strangely conflicting description of the father, who is loved by his family, but at the same time, read as a person without accompanying travelers. Does the poem mean that, towards death, everyone is alone? In that lone journey, does that person doesn’t have to be lonely for anyone?
Much is left unsaid at the end of the poem that readers can ponder, explore, and imagine what it is like to leave behind a family. Also, what does it mean to have family members eat together while a person is gone? What is the meal all about in the absence of the loved one?
The poem is powerful because of its simplicity of language. The words are clear and even sparse. However, this doesn’t negate the poem’s overall complexity. The poem is intriguing, as the words have power to show what they want to show, but it is equally powerful because of what it doesn’t show. It doesn’t overly explain the relationships between the father and his family. Rather, the poem focuses on the meal itself, and the father is mentioned at the end, trailing off. Naturally, I want to know more, and so, readers are compelled to read into the poem. We are participants of the gathering. The meal isn’t just for the family but for us, the readers. People who have lost their loved ones, or can imagine what the loss may be, can ponder and reflect on this moment together.
“Eating Together”
In the steamer is the trout
seasoned with slivers of ginger,
two sprigs of green onion, and sesame oil.
We shall eat it with rice for lunch,
brothers, sister, my mother who will
taste the sweetest meat of the head,
holding it between her fingers
deftly, the way my father did
weeks ago. Then he lay down
to sleep like a snow-covered road
winding through pines older than him,
without any travelers, and lonely for no one.
